A Grump's Diary

When we last left, I was finally tested after ruling out several other possibilities (strep throat, cigars, measles, malaria, the flu, sports with no fans in the seats, election weary syndrome...). The doctor said I'd get a call within three days.  I got a call within three hours. The Result - after chasing the doctor back and forth via phone tag, I finally got his office. "Let's see, you've tested positive." Okay, I asked, what does that mean? "Quarantine and quarantine within your house.  Go to the CDC website and follow their instructions.  Call us if you have trouble breathing.  Thank you.  God bless.  Bye-bye."  I told a friend of mine about this valuable feedback, and he laughed.  "I don't have COVID. If I have trouble breathing, I'm calling him anyway!" Isn't that the truth?  Back to the doctor. What about exercise?  Can I walk or jog? I continued.  "Listen to your body," the doctor said, "But if you go outside...

2020 was designed for the grump. Stock market crash. Election year. Damn pandemic - better known as the "damndemic."Sports suspended. Bars closed (boy that hurt).  Take out or delivery only. Told to stay inside and created phrases like "social distancing," "new normal," "big box store," "essential businesses," "flattening the curve," "lockdown,".... you get the idea.  Just retyping those words or phrases makes me grumpy.  Anyway, to a grump who never misses an opportunity to gripe or appear skeptical, 2020 has been a rich treasure of opportunities, like walking into a pirate's long lost cave and have it glowing in gold and light piercing the jewels that are strewn about. The riches on display for the grump to behold may have actually been overwhelming, but we endeavor to persevere. Navigating the "facts" of CV 19 and the "truth" is like being tossed into a vat of molasses and asked to swim and...

I don't remember what the reason was I decided to do a search on Google regarding a day for grumps, but I did.  The search yielded a single day, Oct 15, as "National Grouch Day."  Grouches, you see, know no bounds.  There are grouches in every demographic. "Red, yellow, black or white, we are grumpy in His sight," the refrain goes in our anthem we lift high every year at this time.  At our most recent conference, held on Zoom!, the meeting broke down at the start when we couldn't come to an agreement about the purpose for holding a meeting shortly after the anthem was lifted.  Some felt it was that the meeting was on Zoom!  Others felt as though it happens at every meeting, face-to-face or online, but the fact remains that we saw the agenda and we didn't like it.  In fact, the minutes (yet to be approved for the last 10 years because we never make it that far) show that the meeting breaks down shortly after the meeting is called to order.  "Chaos ...

Adam and Eve.  The account is a great account in scripture, and one of the greatest in all of literature.  A couple, created by the hand of God, had it all, and yet somehow it still fell short.  Well, it fell short when Satan entered the picture.  Now, I'm not a scholar and cannot represent the theological side of the discussion at all, but I am someone who wonders at times.  In this case, when a snake walks upright and starts talking, the first question in my mind is why they didn't call on God right then?  God, too, was in their midst, being a very personable manager taking care of His creation.  Why not, the minute Satan opened his mouth, did not one of them look up and say, "God, we need you.  Now if you have a moment."? Satan must have been really good for an upright snake speaking from his mouth not setting off alarms or red flags everywhere.  Or he'd been around before, the inference that he was more crafty than any of the other beasts...

"One thing I have found, there are just two ways to go. It all comes down to livin' fast or dyin' slow."  "Dreadful Selfish Crime" Robert Earl Keen I remember being in college and getting into heated political discussions with friends or strangers.  Once in fact, it was with a group of British students at the NATO headquarters.  Ronald Reagan was president, and Europe, in this case the British, was concerned.  His rhetoric toward the then-Soviet Union was clear, and the line was drawn.  Unfortunately, that line was Europe which was divided into East and West.  His rhetoric concerned them greatly. So, they took us on and laid us open for being from the country that elected Reagan.  We shot back.  It went on for about an hour.  Then, guess what we did?  We adjourned for the day and went to a bar and drank with them.  Beer as a diplomatic tool to bring peace.  I'd solve the world's problems in a week over beer I'd been brewin...

I'm not sure who created the corona virus.  God, man, an evil genius, or some poor sap in a lab who accidentally let the genie out of the bottle when he reached for his coffee and hit the test tube by accident.  I just want to say one thing:  While I wouldn't want to wish pain and suffering and death on anyone, I do want to thank you for the "voluntary" stay in place that our leaders have placed on us. Why? you ask. What is better for a grump than being alone? Really, it’s my passion to seek alone time and now I’ve gotten it via government fiat. I have books to be read, models of World War II bombers to build, part-time work in an essential business (more later, but let's just say I work alone as I travel throughout the city for my company - it's great), a list of movies and tv shows to catch up on, and a host of other things that I can do and not be bothered.  For some from a certain era, I feel like Burgess Meredith (Rocky's trainer Mick and Jack Lemmo...